go to hell, you!

it does not take much to tick me off this days. i'm getting quite a reputation among my seatmates as the resident hothead. one likely reason would be my period, but then,the uterine cycle of renewal has already such a bad reputation that i digress.

periods don't tick me off. teachers do. particularly inept and incompetent teachers. inept, incompetent and gay teachers, and i don't mean gay as happy. gay as in gay--homo, fag...that's about the extent of my gay vocab but you get the point. trust me, if your gay teacher was my teacher, you'll be wishing for an air gun waaaay before christmas.

i don't have problems with gay people, normally, since i tend to avoid them and unfashionable slobs like me hardly attract their attention. i have noticed that gay people tend to lean towards women who are sophisticated, mature, fashinable and well-groomed (kris and boy, anyone?)...but yes, i find them nice and good, irritating sometimes and arrogant, but nevertheless tolerable.

however, gay teachers are a different matter. nursing students, as a rule, are critical and observant (read: bisyador), and gay people are critical people, a higher degree than the normal homo sapien, too. what do you get when you mix the two? a kick-ass critical bitch, whose pastime are bitching and prancing.

my teacher/s exactly. i want nothing but good lessons and good teachers. gender does not matter. in this case, it does. for the past week, my lessons under gay teachers have all been imitations of MMK meets Oprah meets Tyra Banks meets the MAD tv show. it's pissing me off, and i don't get pissed off, 5 minutes into the class. that is an extreme number, given that i have the patience of a patient gone comatose.

overreacting?maybe but i prefer maybe not. how would you feel if all your teacher did was bitch, criticize, scrutinize, and made rude and below-the-belt remarks? or if he is a racis, but does not think he is? or if he thinks he's a god just because he went to this college, or trained in this so-so institution? or if he thinks he's a psychologist, that he has the right to analyze those experiences of yours, marking you out as a weird, non-existent entity just because you never had a relationship with the opposite sex? or if he looked like glenda, the gender-confused doll of the seed of chucky? oh, c'mon now. bite me.

i survive the hours by not paying attention and by exercising my creative abilities. these has produced good results. my drawing skills, while still pathetic at some points, are becoming better and better. i even have my first color-pencil rendered anime girl (without reference!). the other times, i make snide comments with my seatmates, calling my instructor names and wishing i had a slingshot with me. but then, my heart rate only shoots up and i suffer from the shock and pressure of not being able to scream and pull my instructors' hair off. that is so gay.

still numb

school is back, but i still can't shake off my post-vacation hangover. maybe taking that 2 month vacation after 2 years of vacation-less days was a bad idea.

my first week in school had me fighting to breath, literally, since my nose was heavy with the dripping stuff we call phelgm. i sounded like a soprano gone wrong, and my machinery would backfire at the most conspicious moments. so much for being a head-turner.

second week had me waking up at an ungodly hour of 5 am to resume my weekly torture, an act that is required of me so that i can graduate. my duties began again, and i cursed fluently for the week straight. it was gore-fest this time though as i got assigned in glorious OR, where blood and spit are normal occurences, and guts are normal panoramic view. i got a lot of cases this time around, and i'm keeping my fingers for more people to fall sick and get operated upon. harhar, talk about misfortune on others.

third week in and i have had 3 exams. i did pretty well in my first, but the second two were disasters. the lecture consisted of a 28-page photocopy, but all i had was one page of handwritten, unlegible, unorganized lecture in my notebook. now that's something. some people call it amazing, that i had summarized the lesson within 4-5 paragraphs. i call it plain lunacy. gosh, i wasn't even listening to the lesson. but i did produce an amazing still life portrait of my teacher's bag, which prompted my friend mica, to say that i needed to shift to fine arts instead of nursing. first time luck, i say to her.

on the weekend: no study habit was born. i read through an amazing novel by jeffrey archer, entitled kane and abel. my mom read this during her college years. talk about amazing, neh? anyway, it was a great read and an amazing find. i hope to finish two more books by this week, while surviving my responsibilities as president of an organization (PSALM) and as a copy editor for the newspaper. not bad for a lazy senior with no ambition.

yeah, i know i speak forth utter crap and nonsense. didn't i tell you i still have that post-vacation hangover? here's the undeniable proof.

r u naruto?

it has been a long time since anime took this country by storm. i miss the days of anime assault 1 and 2, of watching super-robots kick alien ass, of winged swordsmen falling in love, of afternoon fights with the family for television supremacy. those were the good days *nostalgia*

but now, i am seeing a possible resurrection, thanks to studio 23's anime block in the afternoon. ladies and gentlemen, presenting the.....ninjas of konoha, who in the past few months, succesfully glued children, teens and adults alike to tubes and computers. like ghostfighters, voltes v and fushigi yuugi, naruto, in my humble opinion, is starting to resurrect anime nostalgia and fervor among the weary teens of this nations. it's not life-saving but still a good thing.

naruto is a story about well, a boy named naruto and his dealings with his community and his journey on becoming the greatest ninja evah or hokage. the story is pretty formulaic, talentless and scorned boy becomes better and better because he never gives up in a fight....but we noypis are suckers for those kinds of anime anyway (at least i am).

naruto's success can be seen by the way people in my community interact with each other. one time, as i was going to the store to buy my daily provisions of junk foods, five boys rushed by, all screaming "naruto ya, naruto ya!!". you don't see that everyday. it's a testament to the success of the show because you just don't see people running and screaming "deal or no deal na!!.."

then, naruto has become very common conversation fare. in my school, where territories are determined by courses, and friendships are limited by blocks since everyone is prejudiced, people from all courses are seen talking about naruto. a nursing student stops a BS Comsci student to ask for details of episode 123, and an organization featured naruto episodes in the hallway, to great success. with naruto, courses and status does not matter. all are equal in the sight of the hokage.

the classroom is not exempted. my friend, marc, having introduced me to naruto way back, is delighted to see such appreciation from the people. he's like a proud papa, the way he's acting. it's easier to talk about this things since everybody listens to you and starts talking.

as the official anime freak of the class, many has made it a point of stopping me in hallways to ask if i had the complete series of naruto. i have been asked this question by six different people from different sections and courses. i am not irritated or anything. i am actually flattered that people would consider me as a source of anime pleasure. it's a reputation i have been nurturing since college in hopes of becoming popular (harhar). mababaw lang talaga kaligayahan ko =^^=v

unfortunately, i don't have the whole series of naruto, and this painfully reminds me that i am a struggling anime fan without pockets to indulge my hobbies.

i'm glad to see that anime is finally coming back, not yet to its former glory, but we're getting there. but then it's hell to be an anime fan in the philippines.

back to the old roots

i give up. i can't find a skin that suits my need and personality. so for now, i am going back to the old blogspot look, many thanks to the available templates. no more cboxes and fancy navigation.

speaking of going back to old roots, school is rearing it's ugly head again. thankfully, this will be my last year in college and then i am off to become another statistic in my county's unemployment lists. i dread the day where i'll become a useless minority. productivity is something that i crave. seriously, i don't mind being busy.

and busy is what i'll be this year (eventually). God has expanded my territory and made me president of PSALM. i also became one of the copy editors for the Beacon Publications. either way, i've got a full schedule to for this one. here's to hoping for a better school year. i mean, isn't that what we always wish for?

i have apprehensions in coming back to school, number one of which is waking up. i have gotten so used to sleeping till noon, and there's no way that my biological clock could switch gears that quickly *sweat*. second of all is the prospect (heh, more like, the mathematical certainty) of going back to duty. of all the things that i hate in college, duty takes the top spot. ironic, since that's going to my job in the future.

i have been nursing this desire to take another course soon after i graduate. if by chance i can snag a scholarship along the way, then i'll most definitely be working my way to medical school. but if not, maybe a teacher. then, there's always that desire to go to japan and study.

one thing that i look forward the most in going back to school? allowances. after 2 months of being income-less, i am celebrating the return of my 70 bucks per day allowance, with hopes of saving up for some anime cd's. which reminds me, my salary for the tutoring job i do for my cousin has dried up. it's really frustrating to see money disappear. and i did not even buy anything major yet.

pray for a good school year. good luck and God bless! aim to be the best!

the perils of the stool exam

spare a thought for all the medical technologists out there, who suffer the brunt of the hospitals' 'dirty works' everyday. the process of obtaining urine, sputum, blood and, que horror, stool specimens is disgusting as is, but to slosh though other people's undesirable body samples at such close proximity with only a cm thin layer of latex serving as buffer, is nothing short of heroic.

as nursing students, it is required for us to undergo laboratory exams to ensure our serviceability, so to speak, to the hospital we are affiliated with (it's like, so that the patients don't get anythinng harmful from us. but the students' health? oh, fugghedaboutit...). urinalysis i can do. hepa and drug exams? no biggie. sputum? never done that, but 'tis to'lable. but come the damn stool exam, my stomach does major Olympic-standard backflips. This has got to be the yuckiest exam designed by man in white coats with a macabre sense of humor. It's an essential exam for us nurses, where a positive result can mean doomsday for case-deprived students. essential, but still disgusting. poking my own stool is not something i enjoy doing. egad. luckily for me, my stool sample was negative for any parasites. this means no stool-poking-in-the-early-morning-after-laxative-binge-at-night sessions for me, for at least six months.

stool exams are common conversation fare amongst nursing students come enrollment time. some snatches of conversations from people suffering from indigestion, constipation and diarrhea:
"hoy, doys! ya kaga ya bo? miyo de bo tai ha?" (hey, buddy? you defecated yet? i'll have your stool, ok?)
"tiene ya tu tai? dale daw..." (do you have a sample stool yet? c'mon, gimme some..)
"pwede tu ase di miyo stool exam para kumigo?" (can you do my stool exam for me?)
"shit, nukere gat yo kaga. panus de lata ya yo ta kome para pwede lang kaga!" (shit, i can't defecate. i ate spoiled canned goods just to be able to defecate!)
two points: these are disgusting conversation fare and second, food poisoning is a fate better than no duty.

stool exams are unpredictable. for some reasons (like, improper collection, inept technicians, faulty laboratory procedures), they come positive. or worse, the hospital misplaced your sample and they can't find it! either way, you have to undergo the process again..and again...depends on whether lady luck is by your side. this is the case of my brother. as of now, i am eating a plateful of oatmeal in hopes of stimulating my gastrointestinal system to move faster and churn out the blasted feces. thanks to psychological blocks and an irregular defecating schedule,.

in school, we are taught not to be disgusted with our own stool. it's not advisable to show disgust or reprimand young 'uns when they play with their stool, since it'll make them think that their bad and dirty. after all, at that age, children know that everything that comes out from them is theirs, and like, there is nothing wrong if they share it with you. if you do, they may become cleanliness freaks or OC people. it has something to do with Freud's psychosexual theory of development. technically, stool is nothing more but indigested food materials, and ceratin body waste and water. it's something that should be embrace as yours. but it's still disgusting. in this case, my psychosexual development was probably dysfunctional.

revelations v2

6. plain and boring is me--i am a boring person..'nuff said..
7. i have short-term memory...--i had a great revelation while i was going to my cousin's to type...but i can't remember it no more.
8.mistakes should not scare you...don't be afraid to make them--easier said than done. i finally learned this lesson after a few years hanging out in the forums. i could not post for fear of mistakes, thus get picked on by the whole community. i obsessed over every single post and got affected by each and every single action done and not done by my fellow posters (they are really nice by the way ^^). after looking back and re-examining, fear of mistakes and failures, crippled my growth and took the fun out of everything. now, i have learned to relax and take things as they are and to have fun where fun is due. don't take things too seriously...you won't be able to sleep. who'd have thought that such a lesson was gleaned from an internet forum??
9. the value of revision--after 4 years stuck in a rut, i have began writing stories again. i hope to break away from my technical, feature-writing style of high school and jump over to short story/fanfiction writing. writing should not be so complicated. ^^ i used to write for keeps--meaning that what i write is the final thing. no drafts, no revisions. everything had to be perfect on the first take. now, with no computer and armed with sheafs of scratch papers and a pen, i have learned that for a writer, revisions can be your bestfriend. it is exhaysting and frustrating but by doing so i have managed to finish a story and improve it quite well.
10. learn to let go--some things are not meant to be. i have learned to let go of who i was, the old self that for long has been my armor against new and often, scary, experiences. i'd like to face things with an open mind. to let go and let God. to enjoy life.

revelations v1

8 hours of doing nothing (read: graveyard shift) and staring in space can do wonders to your thinking. and with a brain like mine, which, modesty aside, has been once described as capable of thinking up sensational stories fit for tabloid frontpage, those thinking sessions can produce new religion (mwehehe). i've introspected on a lot about the things around me, my experiences, aspirations, dreams, desires...pretty egotistical neh?? but i realized, it's my blog and i can write whatevah i want!XD bwahaha!

some introspections:
1. my greatest ambition is to be rich-- not just rich but filthy rich. if i will have it then might as well have it all. there's nothing wrong with being poor, but there's nothing romantic about it either. it's not about cozy little houses and gardens and vegetables. it's about rents and never-ending debts. heh, i want to be rich, period. nursing, anyone??

2. nursing is a noble profession...not!-- it is not a noble profession. it might have started out that way but society has a way of contaminating its filth towards everything that is noble and pure (like, marriage, education, government, family). even the health sector is not safe. nurses and the nursing profession has been tainted with its own controversies and shortcomings...people pushing their own agendas, their own wills and desires without thought for the future. not only nursing but for every conceivable profession ruled by man. nursing per se is not the fault. it's the people that make it so.

3. boy abunda can sometimes be a dimwit-- i don't usually watch the buzz, the family does. i caught one ep., where boy was doing his interview (read: prying) with zanjoe, regarding him and bianca and bianca's boyfriend. a rehash of what happened..zanjoe does not want to court bianca coz that would be,like, wrong. boy asks if z likes the gurl, z says yeah, then boy says why not, then z again says coz it's wrong, and boy asks if there is such a thing such as proper timing in love or something to that extend. my point: zanjoe already explained his side and i agree that yes there is right timing to love. the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing says joshua harris' book i kissed dating goodbye. to do so (court bianca now) would be disrespectful and not love. i admire mr. abunda and i think he is a more intelligent person than me...but he needs to go back to his philo (phenomenology of love) and to tone down his, uhm, inquisitiveness. and a final thought...zanjoe-bianca sucks. they are sooooo overrated.

4. i am a slob--yeah, before someone can say it to my face, i'll admit it first. a slob in a sense that i only fix myself when necessary, and i dress in what i am comfortable with not what others want me to wear. i keep my room in disarray because i work better in organized chaos. so there.

5. i am a pervert--i finally accepted the fact that i am a sexual being and that such feelings and thoughts are normal in one's growth and development. it is not wrong to talk about it, express your thoughts about it. it has to be accepted as a part of you, as something that is beautiful in the right time and not something that is evil or dirty. i have been perverted by friends and society and in a way it has been a blessing in my road to accepting a part of myself that could not be denied.

morning bloopers

t'was the perfect day for sleeping--dark clouds, thunder and lighting, rain for good measure. too bad i had my 7-3 duty at ciudad this morning. i had to drag myself from the bed to the kitchen, cook my breakfast and snored in front of the stove for approximately 15 minutes until my mom prodded me awake again.

7 am duties are the hardest for me. it's really tough to be at your area before seven, much more wake up at an earlier hour for that to be possible. for the nth time, i mused the time commuting away thinking as to what compels me to wake up at such an ungodly hour during summer. lateness and absences are always open choices; the thought of paying back duties (with pay and probably alone with a sleep-deprived ci-believe me these are the worst sorts), however, is enough incentive to splash ice-cold water on my face.

i arrived early, with 15 minutes to spare. i find it relaxing to be the first to arrive, earlier even, than the ci themselves. gives me time to relax and pray for the duty ahead. but it is disconcerting to find yourself, still alone, after the clock struck seven. give or take, there are people with you by this hour. hmmm, maybe i misread the fine print made on the schedule last time, idk... this wasn't good.

my ci arrived (finally). my groupmates, didn't. it turned out that they didn't get the sked changes (which i almost didn't too, if it weren't for my buddy marc) so they were all still in dreamland, confident that duty won't start until 3. had to kill time with my ci until 7:45 before he went down to call the level coordinator (cough, cough-home!!-cough) to decide as to what to do with (cough-home-cough!) such a model student (home!!-cough!). i got assigned to the other group under a ci i disliked.

ho-hum, fine. i was willing to go--after all i did spend 30 pesos on my fare. presented myself to the said ci, flashing my braced-clad smile, got told off for not bringing my lab results (which i didn't bring because i forgot it because it has been like a year since i went for duty there) and was promptly sent home. oh not before she marked me absent, which will mean that i will do some payback by sometime this year..again. lawd. so much for my model-record.

i got to talk to my ci....an absent?!?! ^&*^(&&()&*()*!!!!

pinky fluffiness

was browsin' my own blog and lawd, i was struck by the pinkiness. it's too...pink...

now for those who know me well, pink and i don't really go that well together. i'm a blue lover so why i chose this one beats the hell out of me. hmmm, maybe it's because of the angel, or because i found this skin under the search word 'anime'. *sigh* and i just spent an hour and a half fixing the kinks out of the system. haaai, don't thinl i'll change this one right away.

*scouring the web for a blue-dominated skin*

the afternoon report

my taste of the afternoon duty can be summed up with this word: oh

the afternoon shift covers the 3pm-11pm hours and, typically, it drags. last april 3-5, i had a taste of it for the first time evah for my summer duty. here's how it went.

i was in nervous distress for the last week, preparing my mind and body (by snoozing for hours) for the duty ahead. monday came and i woke around ten, uptight and tense. i took a bath at around twelve, tried to eat lunch at 1, tried to relax by two and left at 2:30 for the hospital. i passed by my cousins' compound since i had to drop of something, meaning i had to pass the local 'tambays' which consisted of the pre-req adults without jobs, kids without respect and people acting like they have a life but who actually don't. my type A (all white) uniform so mystified these people the snotty kids had the nerve to ask me to 'check' them small jewels of theirs. i'd gladly check them out with my scissors but i was running behind schedule. tough luck.

aside from being the most dragging shift there is, i was assigned in the most boring ward, for the risk of being repetitive, eva. ortho ward/neuro. this is a chronic ward where patients stay for almost 3-5 months on their backside, with skitty and clumsy wire stuffs and metals sticking out of their bodies at different (often unbelievable angles). the neuro ward is really messy. this is where accident-ed people end up so expect lots of blood, gore, sweat, slime and exudates to come accross your way. ortho is better than neuro, considering that all the guys there are just waiting to bust their asses out to freedom; neuro is tedious. like, vital signs every hour, neuro-vital signs every 2, medicines, positioning, feeding...well you get the point. there was one guy who came in, and lawd he was a mess. his case required a lot of attention and monitoring and all the while he was delirious, moaning and thrashing about until he had to be restrained. those are the cases where you wish that you had a higher power to heal, to authorize medicines and operations. but you don't. it's a bummer but basically that's that.

our ci, sir joel was cool. i actually enjoyed the duty with him. plus my group was totally rad. we had fun doing things together, creating names for our patients (lapu-lapu...ahehe), helping each other out. by the second day, we had a new staff nurse on duty for the 3-11 shift and he was a great guy. he allowed us to stay in the nurses' area, bantering with the group, throwing questions at us and demonstrating the way to operate some nifty stuff in the ward. now that's a staff nurse...and a ci..and an rle group..ahehe

we ended our stint in ward 2 with a party for ourselves. ice cream, chicken, veggies and munchkins made our day (eherm night) and we became a boisterous crowd when we began taking pics (yeah, for the luv of God). hehe the nurses and the patients didn't mind. nuh-uh. not one itty-bitty bit.

glad that's over. now i can snooze once more till twelve without worrying about varicose veins. that is until next week.

pre-board musings

the board exam is, like, the Simon Cowell for nurses. it pokes its ugly head and decides whether you, o great sufferer, are worthy to pass on to the profession that is nursing or if you would end up as another statistic of unemployed noypis.

to give us a taste of what the board is going to be, we took a pre-board exam yesterday, consisting of 250 questions (lame, lame, lame ^^) covering lessons on Medical-Surgical nursing from the 1st to the 2nd quarter. considering that this was scheduled after the finals and very well into the few days of vacation, grumblings, gruntings and curses abounded. i, having the confidence to take on such an exam, decided to go commando- eherm, that is i went to take the exam without opening a lecture. what for? it wasn't counted anyway. i'll just bring shame upon myself if i fail. big deal. its vacation for crying out loud!! and you expect me to study??

this sentiment was likewise shared by my classmates, who in the years gone by, have grown steadily apathetic and hard-headed (my kind of people..mwehehe). majority of the class really did not give a shit about the exam, except for the chosen few who are just really weird ^^.

the tests included items from cardio (i think i did pretty well here), digestive (most frustrating--i knew that i knew the answers..i just couldn't remember the freaking answer!), fluids and electrolytes (kill me now- i totally screwed this one), respi (ditto), oncology and pedia/geria (hmmm, taken from the final exam..lazy teachers...mwehe) and psycha (don't ask) subjects. honest evaluation will show that i am deficient in some subjects but i do fairly well relying on memory and stock knowledge. i just need to move it from the short-term mem to the long-term one ^^

i did not bother checking my score afterward (no biggie-besides, the proctor's face was twitching and turning nasty). in my humble opinion, the pre-board is not really indicative of whether i'll pass the actual exam or not. firstly, nobody was in the mood. second, we had no threats nor pressures of passing nor failing. thirdly, the questions were fairly easy (copied from the last exam, no less). so what if i fail??really, like the results of the preboard is worth crying for. lawd, teachers can be so overrated. gag me please.

i can honestly say that i will pass (!!!) the board when it comes. its just a matter of circumstances and concentration, plus a little bit o' luck.

u tired??right!??

i logged in 16 hours of duty last friday, helping out in the school clinic, in the school's joint effort in helping out the Camino Nuevo fire victims. i had it pretty easy there, compared to the roving teams. i stayed in the clinic the whole time, cleaning wounds, dispensing medicines, recording and all that. i officially became the 'drug lord' of the group, having been the one who helped ma'am ivy in the arrangement of the medicines in the boxes. i also had a taste of what it was to become a head nurse. i was in charge of charting and recording, plus transferring the data from the doctor's sheet to the clinic sheet, making sure that we had two exact copies. it was great being there with your fellow students. i saw familiar faces dropping every once in a while, and i felt proud knowing that my classmates were there, out of there comfort zones and helping out. we worked along side medical students and we had a great talk even though we were completely stoned out of our minds.

i hitched a ride home with my friend. we were silent all the way, but we didnt mind that at all. we were too tired and groggy to even mutter a few words.

i slept for three hours before waking up again for an appointment with my dentist. then i headed back to school for my case study with my pal. i barely managed to keep my eyes open. the blasted memory stick would not work and the trackball in our computer lab was not cooperating. lawd, i thought the day would never end.

i wanted to go back to volunteer again, but my body can only take so much.

i'll be going back to school for my clearance, then my duty. i can't wait for summer to come.

and you know what? a day after the fire, it rained.

whaddya know? its finally over!

the tests are over and my verdict: i did fairly well. it was not my best performance (could've done better) but nevertheless, not bad, not bad.

nothing fancy, nothing extraordinary marked the end of my junior year. i am saying goodbye to it in a few weeks and will say hello to the final year of my college year before i am off to find fame and fortune. there is no bittersweet nostalgia. no regrets, i am glad that it is finally over. it's not graduation or anything ^^

just my luck that tragedy should mar my final finals day. how are you supposed to act in the midst of a tragedy? yeaterday, march 23, 2006, a fire raged in the city near school. the damage is massive and thousands are camping out in my school till something happens. times like these brings out the best and the worst in some people. looters abounded that night and as much as it pisses you off, you just can't do anything about it in the midst of panic. however, i do applaud the students of my school for volunteering without being told to do so. my salute to you.

situated approximately 7 km away (according to the road sign) from the city, i felt lucky and at the same time guilty for my good fortune and blessings. as much as i felt sorry for those victims, i was happier that none of my family was hurt in that fire. that night, i realized that the least i should do was to pray for those people. my faith and relationship with God has not been exactly smooth lately, so i was stumped as to what and how to pray. how do you begin to pray for people who have lost everything they worked for? dear Lord, please comfort them. be with them. they are in your hands. in my mind it sounded inadequate but somehow that seemed the only words that i could think of. i guess, in times of need, the simplest prayers reveal the heart's true intention.

today, i will return to school to help out in the relief operations. partly to help, mostly to cover my payback duty ^^ *sigh* in the middle of a tragedy, the only thing that can keep us sane is normalcy *grins*

currently listening: narda by kamikazee (yeah, pinoy music rocks!!)currently watching: WWE (rey mysterio!!!!)

on finals and beyond

divine intervention allowed me to exempted in 4 minor subjects, leaving me with only (!) 2 exams to worry about. *rejoice, rejoice* it does feel great when your efforts pay off. ^^ *grins* by next year i will be a senior (yikes!) and hopefully i can adjust again to the new rules, regime and as always, teachers. *wink, wink* wish me luck.

funny things keep happening to me. not funny as in har-har funny, but funny as in the weird and scary funny. granted it usually does not happen to me for i am a lousy, by-the-book person, it was a first...and what an experience.

first thing: remember the case defense. yaaaaa, that defense. the group was coming in pretty late with the paperwork and despite the fact that i have been editing the freaking articles for 1 week straight, little devils in the form of typos, wrong information and inconsistencies within the pages keep croppin' up!!! the only way to keep up with the massive (yes, massive. i had to delete one whole chapter..lawd!) editing was to meet up late after class or early in the morning. problem was, nobody in their right mind (except me ^^) was willing to do the pm sessions (classes, rawr) and am sessions were taken for case presentations (we just had to be there). however, a desperate chicken's gotta do, what a desperate chicken's gotta do. dragging the cranky old laptop, me and carm hid out in the second floor of the lib, confident that no one would venture up there during that early hour. my senses however told me that this was a bad, bad idear. 15 minutes through, my ci went up to us and we were screwed...SCREWED i tell ya!!! moments of shock prevented any words from forming in my mouth. Lawd, that was embarrasing. we trooped down and luckily, that ci didnt squeal on us, although she shot very nasty glances our way once in a while. talk about a dip in icy water. my heart went barruumph, barrummph. what a way to start the week. ^^

second thing: i am not a fan of my religion teacher. i just had to have her. she's a former nun, and as much as i respect them, you just cant expect anything exciting from them in a topic as juicy such as marriage (told you i am a pervert ^^ lawd, i am soooo perverted!!!). on top of that, she was boring, defensive, closed-minded....to cut the story shorter, the whole lot was dissatisfied with how she handled this class ( i mean, why can't we have sir alex!?!? or sir ubando?!?!?) my classmates decided to write a letter to the religion department, complaining of things and we signed it. i did too. hey, my grade was 86 for crying out loud. my whole college career was marked by consistent niners in religion. feeling vengeful, i signed. and woe betide us.

our teacher came in for our exam last monday and had a heart to heart talk (sob) with us, sarcasm dripping her everiy word, trying to make us guilty and admit that we were wrong. blighted devils that we are, nobody flinched. yeah, we were on offense, baby. i concede that we were wrong on some poins, but you dont tell that in front of everyone unless you want to die early. so i answered a couple of questions, dodging most issues and planted on an indifferent/bored face for the whole hour.

i have no conscience, by the way, so nope, i dont feel sorry. *devilish grin*

drats

drats and double drats...where's the archive sections!!!??!!

lawd, i need to work out these kinks...

finally...a new look.

i say bye-bye to my old look and welcome the new one with my near-perfect japanese bow.

with this, i will try to post up significant and senseful entries, ones which will hopefully be free from typos (typos?what typos). also i hope to sound normal, not someone who delivers the philosophical significance of whining.

i will try to regularly put up a post, but dont expect something that has to do with the outside world. my life is complicated enough when i am me....well, ok, maybe a few take on some issues that i know (which is like....never? ^^) once in a while.

may change the look again now that i think about. but then again, go figure :-p

defended!

after eons of sleepless nights the dreaded day of case defense finally came...and i survived!

like any endeavor, good and bad experiences arises. the good thing, i got to know new people, visit grand houses and learn a whole lot about something. bad thing, my eyes went all puffy as the case defense drew near, and bouts of nausea and vomiting ensued. my stomach, can go off during very odd times. anyway, lazy people always abound in the group, so that pretty much spoils everything. not that this project will determine if i stay in the college or not. but the presentation will be presented in front of the whole 3rd year batch (and a few ogling 4th year and SPN students). that is incentive enough to work like a horse, going home only to change clothes. it even prompted me to drink an energy drink which kept me awake for 24 hours. needless to say, i was in snoresville for double that time.

the presentation went without a hitch but we snagged a couple of nasty comments along the way. we argued the merit of our case to one prejudiced judge (In my humble opinion, of course). i mean, if you would like to point out something that is out of place, then do so. its pointless to go 'round and 'round the bush before coming back. it wastes a lot of precious time and frankly it pisses everyone of.

then there's this thing with people who like to feel important. we are a pretty tight batch and it is the general consensus that thou shall not question thy batchmate in any way that is offensive or that can lead them to further humiliation and harm. tomatoes please....this guy (he's my batchmate, but he is so unimportant that nobody gives a damn if he exists or not...maybe that's why he tries so hard to be pompous) feels that he is such a god and that his questions should merit him the adoration of everyone. he asks stupid and pointless questions because he is stupid and pointless. if it were to me, i would hang him by his fat thumbs. but you can't have everything in life. rotten tomatoes please..........

several people really shined during the presentation. my friend, mark impressed me by the way he answered the questions. by the time their group finished, we were worshiping him as the lord of all answers. actually he is also the demi-god and chief of the pervert's club, of which i am a member...ahehehe...anyways, the batch also had discovered a veritable mine of actresses and actors. jame, starred in 2 films (as a guy and as a girl), jade was a coffee-holic suffering from ulcer, thara (our very own) was a bleeding and battered wife. i myself, vied for the best supporting role in my acting debut as a blabbermouth. egad.

the cases were closed and we returned to our normal routines with bruised egos. the verdict: not bad, not bad...glad its finally over..

east meets west

for as long as i can remember, my front teeth have always been worlds apart, literally.

i remember that as a kid i used to pass candy, rice, viand or anything edible through the gap between my teeth. i also had the habit of biting my nails- rubbing the said gap in the process. years of this destructive behaviour gave me the gap-toothed smile. my teacher once nominated me to be a guest in a radio show, sponsored by a toothpaste brand. but when she saw my teeth, never mind.

now, years after my initial wish to have braces (because everybody had it and it had the potential to kill your apettite), i am the proud owner of a torture device destined to bring pain and discomfort, all for the sake of beauty.

it is true that there is pain and it is true that you cant eat. so far i have had my braces on for two months, and with the process of pulling my teeth together, the pain has only intensified. it does have its benefits. i cant eat very well so i have loss a few pounds (unfortunately, my mouth has a high pain tolerance..so after a few tentative mouthfuls, i begin to shove food down my mouth again), my smile is getting cuter (hehe) and i have developed good oral hygiene (i brush my teeth 3 times a day na...). the big, open and gaping stomatitis and constant pain makes me wanna tear my braces out.

the price of beauty is pain. the girl in ripley's had it right: beauty is pain.

and now,finally, my two front teeth have finally met~

blood week

we underwent our first-aid training last week at the red cross youth center. here's my rundown of the events.

contrary to the what you may think, first-aid training is pretty boring. we spent the first day listening to the history of the organization in the humid and warm conference hall. unfortunately for me, i was seated in the back row, the place where ventilation from the ceiling fan cannot reach. i went to school with my shirt stuck all over my back. it was probably my fault anyway. back row people never get called by instructors for recitation, their last ditch effort to make their classses interesting.

next we got lessons on anatomy and basic first aid, which went pretty fast because we did have background information on it, being nursing students and all. no doubt our instructors were competent and knowledgeable, but we couldnt help wishing for lightning to strike them down so we could go home.

action came in the form of basic life-support (CPR) and case analysis. honestly, i think most of us will have mumps by the end of the week. so many details to remember!! and my braces always snagged the mannequins' mouths...

i totally botched up our case analysis by forgetting to assess my victim, who was a mountain of a man, with a knife stuck to his belly, spitting blood all over us. you dont really mind the dirt and the stain--all you'd like to do is save the victim, even though he is such a pain in the ass. anyways, my batchmates decided to be bystanders--not a comforting thought if you saw them rallying like indians around us. victim fainted and my first thought was get him to the hospital. in real-life that's what i would have done...but technically that wasnt real life. so even though my victim is dying i still have to assess him. way to go, you just dragged your team to the abyss of failure.

adrenaline, by the way, really works. practice sessions on lifting proved that we were not fit to lift a child much more a full-grown man. however, that day was a day of surprises. we lifted our victim up and for the first time, nobody wobbled and the victim didnt fall..XD

my jeans were drenched in blood (food coloring) and smudged with mud. i brought an extra shirt but for the love of God why my jeans!!!??? i went to school as is, claiming to have been attacked by dogs.

and finally, i donated 450 cc of blood to the blood bank. yes it hurts and yes i was nervous as hell. elation follows despair, when the big needle (it has to be big as it will prevent RBC destruction) is finally removed. my blood is off to save somebody's life and i am proud of it. its a nice thing to do, and i am hoping to return on June for the second voluntary donation. i'll take this time to plug: donate your blood to the blood bank. its safe and its potentially life saving--for you and others. for more information, visit red cross blood bank XD

so my week ends in a trail of blood, fake blood for that matter.

~my ego

one thought: nursing and her minions does wonders for my self-esteem...really....

thought running through my mind: i am sarcastic, i am sarcastic....