Sublimating and marinating

For every screw up I make in the hospital, I mentally bash my brains out with an imaginary magical hammer. It's an unhealthy, really, but this unusual habit seems to be the only way wherein I can expel all negative and horrifyingly embarrassing moments out of my system. On those particularly bad days, my imaginary catharsis turns my brain into mush. *sigh* The powers of sublimation.

Anyhow, my bad days can range from the fickle, shrug-shrug, bad day to the catastrophic, kill-me-now days. For example, one time, I gave the ROD (resident on duty) skin-tape instead of plaster. If you must know, skin-tape is really not sticky enough. I knew that; however, I figured, skin-tape is better than nothing. Actually, it was probably better if I gave nothing at all :D Now, I'm obsessed with plaster! I've got a great roll of plaster around one pen (green), skin tape on the other (black) and transparent tape on the red one :B

One time, my vital sign-taking skills was questioned. I take great pride in my vs skills; it's my most basic skill, requiring finesse and a sense of timing (like, "quick, the baby's sleeping!! RR and HR now!!!" quick). Anyways. I got some really low HRs and really high RRs, so off I go to the doctor on duty. The good doctor pronounced that my vitals were wrong, after taking a good, long 15-second look. Right, doc, sorry doc, I hastened to say. I took those vital signs for one full minute, but sure, you're the boss, I added to myself.

While Ivan thinks it's fairly disgusting, I think that true guts involves suctioning without gloves! A true man (or woman) needs no gloves for pulling out secretions out of bloody ET tubes! Since I never got the fundamentals of suctioning during my college days, I don't find it weird/disgusting/unhygienic to suction with bare hands. More than once, I've gotten a dollop of phlegm on my arms without flinching. I just hold the urge to barf in, run out and handwash like crazy! Suctioning is a procedure that demans more bravado than skill :D You plunge it in, open and close the machine, and voila! tubes are as good as new! Anyhow, my careless disregard for aseptic techniques designed to keep me safe and healthy has made me come to the conclusion that I might be secretly harboring a death wish. *cue Twilight Zone BG music*

Example #1: Suctioning without gloves

Example #2: Ignoring punctured wounds from injections

Example #3: Caring for a patient with PTB. Without a mask :p

It's not that I don't particularly value my health: using gloves, making a big deal out of a tiny puncture wound and using a mask gets in my way all the time. So, I make do without it :D Reckless, but hey, it goes a long way in saving children's lives :D

So far, the biggest and greatest lesson that I have learned in the hospital, particularly in the ward, is to BE KIND, to everyone. Kind goes hand in hand with being humble, and the 2, working together reaps marvelous dividends. When you're kind, people appreciate the things that you do to the point that they don't get mad when you accidently burst their child's soluset :D Another nice thing to learn: swallowing pride. I've swallowed mine whole from the moment I got to the ward, allowing one zealous senior volunteer to teach me the concept of quantity ("Etong quantity kung ilan ung ipapabili niya. I-times mo sa prize, yun na yun") without daring to say that 14 years of education has taught me such arcana already :p

Disconnected by 38 degrees

It's been a month in volunteer limbo and I'll be free in 2 months time, and hopefully, everything about it will be honorable :D Anyway, I've been toying with the idea of extending my stay for another 3 months, on the condition that my "scholarship" holds out, since, despite my initial horrors, everything has been pleasantly, uhm, pleasant, so far.

Contrary to its reputation, the staff over at ward 8 are actually really nice people to work with, real protective of the volunteers from overly hysterical watchers and terror doctors. A few of them, Madams Grace and Gigi, have taken to ogling my ass every time I take vital signs without using proper body mechanics :B

In my initial month, I have:
a. Avoided killing a patient, intentionally.
b. Learned how to scold a watcher older than me.
c. Grown immune to the sound of the cardiac monitor going haywire.
d. Suctioned the guts outs of a preemie while high on caffeine.

Rawr, I am out of practice, having been disconnected from the internet for the past 2 months >:s

Will edit later, for addendums, grammar and overall sense.

Anything but Eight

I now know that this is true: that the things you dread are the things that definitely come to pass and that the chances of it happening is directly proportional to your stress levels. My prayers of "Anything but eight, anything but eight," went unanswered, and like some great cosmic joke, I drew the paper with the words "Ward 8, 7-3", just like that. I just got assigned to Ward 8, the Pediatrics Ward, the One Ward in the hospital that I absolutely had my sights against.

Before applying to the hospital as a volunteer nurse, I sought the expert opinions of those who had the privilege of working at the same hospital. I found out that, on a general level, everyone thinks their ward is the BEST ward and all other departments simply fail. A few examples of the consultations that I had with those enlightened members of the no-pay volunteers:

ME: I'll be volunteering this month. Which ward is best?
Expert 1: Ward 2 is the best. The staff are nice, you get to watch TV, less work, and oh, we have parties every month or so.

(Hmmm, TV. Ward 2=Most Ideal. Besides, my dad worked in Ward 2, so I may get by with my family name alone. On the other hand, it's a chronic ward. Everyone's either in plaster or twitching.)

ME: I'll be volunteering this month. Which ward is best?
Expert 2: OR. We came, we open, we saw your guts!

(Operating Room staff are, like, the elite. Or at least, that's what they like to think. It's really nice, though, to be in the OR, except on elective days, where the OR complex is filled to overflowing. Also, paperwork. Lots of them.)

ME: I'll be volunteering this month. Which ward is best?
Expert 3: Any ward, is fine. Don't go for OR. When you apply for an entry-level position, you'll be a staff nurse. So it's better to learn all you need to know about basic floor duties.

(I'll admit, this is the most sound advice I got. Objective and practical. Two people gave me this advice, and I worship you both.)

ME: I'll be volunteering this month. Which ward is best?
Expert 4: The action is in the ER. You learn LOADS there, CPR, emergency care....In wards all you do is chart and sleep. Where's the learning?

(Where indeed? However, I never liked the ER. I'm too, er, fragile. Besides, ER people are the most likely people to die in case of a terrorist attack. Kidding.)

ME: I'll be volunteering this month. Which ward is best?
Expert 5: Eye Center. Nice easy hours , free internet.

(Internet, hmmmmm?)

ME: I'll be volunteering this month. Which ward is best?
Expert 6: Anywhere, as long as it's not ER.

(Uh-huh.)

So, that got me nowhere fast. Ergo, I'll take whatever comes my way. Except Ward 8.

But, as fate would have it, I did get in to Ward 8. I see a number of disadvantages:

1. I've never had a rotation there. Ever.
2. Kids are scared of nurse. One look at the white uniform and they'll cry/wail/throw a tantrum/pull your hair(!)...
3. Too. Many. Kids. In. The. World.
4. The Pedia Ward is really HOT.
5. Contagious. Lots of contagious things to catch.

As my role in life is to find silver linings in every dark cloud, I rationalized these advantages:

1. I have nephews and nieces and cousins who are potential Pedia patients. Maybe the good Lord directed me to Ward 8 so that I can enjoy treating my family.
2. In looking for a ward, I want variety. The Pedia ward is like the Medical ward in miniature: lots of conditions and procedures to do. I may just enjoy Ward 8 (I mean, I enjoyed pricking babies with vaccine when I was a student. Hihihihi).
3. It's relatively near the hospital canteen.
4. My classmates always said I was good with children. It's the maternal instinct buried in me. And for that matter, I think it'll be buried forever. A stint in Ward 8 is the closest I'll get to having children. I can always adopt.
5. I honestly can't think of anything more.

By this time, I've resigned myself to my lot. Pray, I hope to enjoy my 3-month stint in Ward 8. In the spirit of making lists, I shall end with these resolutions that I need to do before duty begins:

1. Return my body clock to its normal rhythm by sleeping and waking up early.
2. Abstain from all pleasurable things from now on, i.e., TV, computers, movies, rainy days, etc.
3. Solicit for brand new uniforms.
4. Read up on Pediatrics procedures and stuff.
5. Buy the following: 4 colored pen, thermometers, surgical masks, notebook and a new bag.
6. Get a retailer SIM to sell load during duty hours (for the extra money).
7. Learn Tausug as soon as possible.
8. Order a new nameplate that will appendage RN to my last name.
9. Say goodbye to August.

RN from the cubbyhole

It has finally happened. I can no longer claim employment superiority over the unemployed. I have reached the end of my contract and since I am not renewing anything, I must regress to a state that I should have completed upon adding RN to my last name: volunteer duty.

I fret on that phrase. I can't imagine giving out free service for 3 (or 6) whole months, not after watching The Dark Knight. Wasn't it the Joker who said that if you can do something, never do it for free? Too bad hospitals don't share that sentiment.

It's not only the "free of service" part that bothers me. It's the effort required to be a volunteer. Back in college, we only had to do two and half days of duty each week and I'd go home ready to die. And I gained weight (I mean, how can that happen anyway??). How would 3 (or 6) whole months affect me, then?? No more sleeping until noon and doing nothing but laze all day routines for me. Aside from that, it's been a year since my board exams. Gotta bring the old noggin' up to scratch, which is not really an easy thing to do.

Still, without the volunteer time in my resume, I can't get a paying job in any nursing school. I mean, teaching is something that I'd like to eventually do. Does not really leave me much of choice, does it?

So, I'm applying as a volunteer nurse at ZCMC this August, and if accepted, I'll start my trips to the hospital this September. To make sure I don't chicken out (again), I've completed all lab works and requirements using my meager savings. That way, I'll really, really, really, push through with this prospect, although I still have to decide if I'll sign up for 3 months or 6 months of duty. That can wait until Monday.

On that note, hospitals are supposed to be a place full of care and compassion, but as I discovered within 3 hours of completing laboratory tests, it's a place so devoid of emotion, it's depressing.

Lab tests went fine, although the stool exam was ickier than usual (I had to transfer the sample from my film container on to the glass vial, since accordingly, film cases went out of fashion months ago :s).

A new thing to do this time was the police clearance. This required a picture, taken at the station itself. The need to smile when in front of the camera is so ingrained in my system that I had to decide whether, wait for it, to smile or not to smile. Whatever my mom said to reassure me, this was going to be a mug shot! I tried to practice a half smile while waiting my turn, but it made me look constipated, so I chose not to smile. I posit thus: you do not smile when you're having your mug shot taken.

Anyway, despite the not-so-good photo of me (which I plan never to show anyone for as long as I live) I discovered that if I didn't smile, I ended up looking uncannily like my dad. If I smiled (which I usually do, thank God), I resemble my mom's side of the family (finally).

All that's left now is for my application letter and my photocopied documents, and I'm all set. On Monday, I'll be sealing this deal. I'll be missing paid work and employment, but I'm sure that after 3 (or 6) months of sacrifice, I'll be handling 3 blue ones every 15 and 30 once again. Bully for that day.