expletives

recently, i caught myself saying the F-word. for those who are familiar with the Filipino culture, such a word is considered as a capital crime, and make no mistake, hours later, you'll still be foaming in the mouth after your mum made you wash your mouth. the f-word was unthinkable and used for the most devious and desperate occasions. imagine my surprise when i found myself saying f**k, as well as other 4-letter expletives, without flinching. its an achievement, considering i have been overusing the now stale syet ( a variation of sh*t) and p*t*!...my vocabulary has taken on a new level. from coarse name-calling to sophisticated cussing. do i think cussing is a habit of the rich and socialite??no...its self-expression.

yesterday i would have been shocked to hear myself, but now, i dont mind. after being a sheltered kid for most of my life, i am now beginning to find independence in college. just because i like cussing now does not mean that i dont have manners. one of the greatest misconception of human beings is by labeling their fellow people. the way i act or speak does not reflect who i truly am. just because ive been cussing fluently for a week does not mean i am an unpleasant person. i believe its a part of growing up, breaking the mold people imposed upon you and finally getting to live your life as you want it...the way you want it.

mind you, i still dont say the f-word out loud at home. i am still a practical person.

my influences for my cuss-vocab spurt?? friends, class and movies (most notable of which is Closer...i could not believe my ears...but great script people). my friend tells me to slow than a little bit, but once i start i cant seem to stop. the phonetics of that 4-letter word is mesmerizing and addicting. besides, people dont gasp and go oh-my-gosh-she-said-the-u-know-what-word!! when i say it. as the old adage goes, everybody's doing it. but then, i guess my friend's right to. control is a must...u can always blast every expletive u know at somebody who deserves it much later...wahehe

oh well then...WTF???

time freak

im no dictionary, but in my life i have coined a new term for myself-time freak...a freak of time..haha..
what is a time freak? n my experience i didnt know i was a time freak until my irritated pointed out to me that i have been glancing at my watch for the nth time. so what right? problem was, i wasnt going anywhere.
it has become my habit--glancing at my watch for a gazillion times a dy, as if i had an involuntary twitch in my arm. i'd stare at my watch and compute how many minutes have passed since i looked at it last.
now that i think about it, i just dont like to waste time--i dont want to spend it either. i'd lie all day in bed, getting the rest i think i deserve and when i look at the time, behold! i tear my hair out and throw a tantrum that would make any 4-year-old proud just because its already noon (wowowee time?"?) and i just wasted 4 freaking hours!!!
my mom think its funny as in funny haha. i dont think so. it drives me crazy, this watch-looking-time-computing-what-have-i-done-in-the-last-second- habit. its exhausting if you ask me.
i think i got this from school. in a course wer every second counts (not to mention classmates who are so time conscious) its no wonder that my watch has become my best friend and my worst enemy.
okay, my arms twitching again.
i wont look....i wont look...c'mon pipol say this with me..i....wo....wooiii....wiillllll...look!!!
grrraaagh!!!
its 3 pm. i dont have classes until 6:30 pm.
cool.
....what happened to the freaking 3 hours before now!!!!!????...
oh dear....
i am a time freak....sigh...welcome...