6. plain and boring is me--i am a boring person..'nuff said..
7. i have short-term memory...--i had a great revelation while i was going to my cousin's to type...but i can't remember it no more.
8.mistakes should not scare you...don't be afraid to make them--easier said than done. i finally learned this lesson after a few years hanging out in the forums. i could not post for fear of mistakes, thus get picked on by the whole community. i obsessed over every single post and got affected by each and every single action done and not done by my fellow posters (they are really nice by the way ^^). after looking back and re-examining, fear of mistakes and failures, crippled my growth and took the fun out of everything. now, i have learned to relax and take things as they are and to have fun where fun is due. don't take things too seriously...you won't be able to sleep. who'd have thought that such a lesson was gleaned from an internet forum??
9. the value of revision--after 4 years stuck in a rut, i have began writing stories again. i hope to break away from my technical, feature-writing style of high school and jump over to short story/fanfiction writing. writing should not be so complicated. ^^ i used to write for keeps--meaning that what i write is the final thing. no drafts, no revisions. everything had to be perfect on the first take. now, with no computer and armed with sheafs of scratch papers and a pen, i have learned that for a writer, revisions can be your bestfriend. it is exhaysting and frustrating but by doing so i have managed to finish a story and improve it quite well.
10. learn to let go--some things are not meant to be. i have learned to let go of who i was, the old self that for long has been my armor against new and often, scary, experiences. i'd like to face things with an open mind. to let go and let God. to enjoy life.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
revelations v1
8 hours of doing nothing (read: graveyard shift) and staring in space can do wonders to your thinking. and with a brain like mine, which, modesty aside, has been once described as capable of thinking up sensational stories fit for tabloid frontpage, those thinking sessions can produce new religion (mwehehe). i've introspected on a lot about the things around me, my experiences, aspirations, dreams, desires...pretty egotistical neh?? but i realized, it's my blog and i can write whatevah i want!XD bwahaha!
some introspections:
1. my greatest ambition is to be rich-- not just rich but filthy rich. if i will have it then might as well have it all. there's nothing wrong with being poor, but there's nothing romantic about it either. it's not about cozy little houses and gardens and vegetables. it's about rents and never-ending debts. heh, i want to be rich, period. nursing, anyone??
2. nursing is a noble profession...not!-- it is not a noble profession. it might have started out that way but society has a way of contaminating its filth towards everything that is noble and pure (like, marriage, education, government, family). even the health sector is not safe. nurses and the nursing profession has been tainted with its own controversies and shortcomings...people pushing their own agendas, their own wills and desires without thought for the future. not only nursing but for every conceivable profession ruled by man. nursing per se is not the fault. it's the people that make it so.
3. boy abunda can sometimes be a dimwit-- i don't usually watch the buzz, the family does. i caught one ep., where boy was doing his interview (read: prying) with zanjoe, regarding him and bianca and bianca's boyfriend. a rehash of what happened..zanjoe does not want to court bianca coz that would be,like, wrong. boy asks if z likes the gurl, z says yeah, then boy says why not, then z again says coz it's wrong, and boy asks if there is such a thing such as proper timing in love or something to that extend. my point: zanjoe already explained his side and i agree that yes there is right timing to love. the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing says joshua harris' book i kissed dating goodbye. to do so (court bianca now) would be disrespectful and not love. i admire mr. abunda and i think he is a more intelligent person than me...but he needs to go back to his philo (phenomenology of love) and to tone down his, uhm, inquisitiveness. and a final thought...zanjoe-bianca sucks. they are sooooo overrated.
4. i am a slob--yeah, before someone can say it to my face, i'll admit it first. a slob in a sense that i only fix myself when necessary, and i dress in what i am comfortable with not what others want me to wear. i keep my room in disarray because i work better in organized chaos. so there.
5. i am a pervert--i finally accepted the fact that i am a sexual being and that such feelings and thoughts are normal in one's growth and development. it is not wrong to talk about it, express your thoughts about it. it has to be accepted as a part of you, as something that is beautiful in the right time and not something that is evil or dirty. i have been perverted by friends and society and in a way it has been a blessing in my road to accepting a part of myself that could not be denied.
some introspections:
1. my greatest ambition is to be rich-- not just rich but filthy rich. if i will have it then might as well have it all. there's nothing wrong with being poor, but there's nothing romantic about it either. it's not about cozy little houses and gardens and vegetables. it's about rents and never-ending debts. heh, i want to be rich, period. nursing, anyone??
2. nursing is a noble profession...not!-- it is not a noble profession. it might have started out that way but society has a way of contaminating its filth towards everything that is noble and pure (like, marriage, education, government, family). even the health sector is not safe. nurses and the nursing profession has been tainted with its own controversies and shortcomings...people pushing their own agendas, their own wills and desires without thought for the future. not only nursing but for every conceivable profession ruled by man. nursing per se is not the fault. it's the people that make it so.
3. boy abunda can sometimes be a dimwit-- i don't usually watch the buzz, the family does. i caught one ep., where boy was doing his interview (read: prying) with zanjoe, regarding him and bianca and bianca's boyfriend. a rehash of what happened..zanjoe does not want to court bianca coz that would be,like, wrong. boy asks if z likes the gurl, z says yeah, then boy says why not, then z again says coz it's wrong, and boy asks if there is such a thing such as proper timing in love or something to that extend. my point: zanjoe already explained his side and i agree that yes there is right timing to love. the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing says joshua harris' book i kissed dating goodbye. to do so (court bianca now) would be disrespectful and not love. i admire mr. abunda and i think he is a more intelligent person than me...but he needs to go back to his philo (phenomenology of love) and to tone down his, uhm, inquisitiveness. and a final thought...zanjoe-bianca sucks. they are sooooo overrated.
4. i am a slob--yeah, before someone can say it to my face, i'll admit it first. a slob in a sense that i only fix myself when necessary, and i dress in what i am comfortable with not what others want me to wear. i keep my room in disarray because i work better in organized chaos. so there.
5. i am a pervert--i finally accepted the fact that i am a sexual being and that such feelings and thoughts are normal in one's growth and development. it is not wrong to talk about it, express your thoughts about it. it has to be accepted as a part of you, as something that is beautiful in the right time and not something that is evil or dirty. i have been perverted by friends and society and in a way it has been a blessing in my road to accepting a part of myself that could not be denied.
Monday, April 10, 2006
morning bloopers
t'was the perfect day for sleeping--dark clouds, thunder and lighting, rain for good measure. too bad i had my 7-3 duty at ciudad this morning. i had to drag myself from the bed to the kitchen, cook my breakfast and snored in front of the stove for approximately 15 minutes until my mom prodded me awake again.
7 am duties are the hardest for me. it's really tough to be at your area before seven, much more wake up at an earlier hour for that to be possible. for the nth time, i mused the time commuting away thinking as to what compels me to wake up at such an ungodly hour during summer. lateness and absences are always open choices; the thought of paying back duties (with pay and probably alone with a sleep-deprived ci-believe me these are the worst sorts), however, is enough incentive to splash ice-cold water on my face.
i arrived early, with 15 minutes to spare. i find it relaxing to be the first to arrive, earlier even, than the ci themselves. gives me time to relax and pray for the duty ahead. but it is disconcerting to find yourself, still alone, after the clock struck seven. give or take, there are people with you by this hour. hmmm, maybe i misread the fine print made on the schedule last time, idk... this wasn't good.
my ci arrived (finally). my groupmates, didn't. it turned out that they didn't get the sked changes (which i almost didn't too, if it weren't for my buddy marc) so they were all still in dreamland, confident that duty won't start until 3. had to kill time with my ci until 7:45 before he went down to call the level coordinator (cough, cough-home!!-cough) to decide as to what to do with (cough-home-cough!) such a model student (home!!-cough!). i got assigned to the other group under a ci i disliked.
ho-hum, fine. i was willing to go--after all i did spend 30 pesos on my fare. presented myself to the said ci, flashing my braced-clad smile, got told off for not bringing my lab results (which i didn't bring because i forgot it because it has been like a year since i went for duty there) and was promptly sent home. oh not before she marked me absent, which will mean that i will do some payback by sometime this year..again. lawd. so much for my model-record.
i got to talk to my ci....an absent?!?! ^&*^(&&()&*()*!!!!
7 am duties are the hardest for me. it's really tough to be at your area before seven, much more wake up at an earlier hour for that to be possible. for the nth time, i mused the time commuting away thinking as to what compels me to wake up at such an ungodly hour during summer. lateness and absences are always open choices; the thought of paying back duties (with pay and probably alone with a sleep-deprived ci-believe me these are the worst sorts), however, is enough incentive to splash ice-cold water on my face.
i arrived early, with 15 minutes to spare. i find it relaxing to be the first to arrive, earlier even, than the ci themselves. gives me time to relax and pray for the duty ahead. but it is disconcerting to find yourself, still alone, after the clock struck seven. give or take, there are people with you by this hour. hmmm, maybe i misread the fine print made on the schedule last time, idk... this wasn't good.
my ci arrived (finally). my groupmates, didn't. it turned out that they didn't get the sked changes (which i almost didn't too, if it weren't for my buddy marc) so they were all still in dreamland, confident that duty won't start until 3. had to kill time with my ci until 7:45 before he went down to call the level coordinator (cough, cough-home!!-cough) to decide as to what to do with (cough-home-cough!) such a model student (home!!-cough!). i got assigned to the other group under a ci i disliked.
ho-hum, fine. i was willing to go--after all i did spend 30 pesos on my fare. presented myself to the said ci, flashing my braced-clad smile, got told off for not bringing my lab results (which i didn't bring because i forgot it because it has been like a year since i went for duty there) and was promptly sent home. oh not before she marked me absent, which will mean that i will do some payback by sometime this year..again. lawd. so much for my model-record.
i got to talk to my ci....an absent?!?! ^&*^(&&()&*()*!!!!
Sunday, April 09, 2006
pinky fluffiness
was browsin' my own blog and lawd, i was struck by the pinkiness. it's too...pink...
now for those who know me well, pink and i don't really go that well together. i'm a blue lover so why i chose this one beats the hell out of me. hmmm, maybe it's because of the angel, or because i found this skin under the search word 'anime'. *sigh* and i just spent an hour and a half fixing the kinks out of the system. haaai, don't thinl i'll change this one right away.
*scouring the web for a blue-dominated skin*
now for those who know me well, pink and i don't really go that well together. i'm a blue lover so why i chose this one beats the hell out of me. hmmm, maybe it's because of the angel, or because i found this skin under the search word 'anime'. *sigh* and i just spent an hour and a half fixing the kinks out of the system. haaai, don't thinl i'll change this one right away.
*scouring the web for a blue-dominated skin*
Friday, April 07, 2006
the afternoon report
my taste of the afternoon duty can be summed up with this word: oh
the afternoon shift covers the 3pm-11pm hours and, typically, it drags. last april 3-5, i had a taste of it for the first time evah for my summer duty. here's how it went.
i was in nervous distress for the last week, preparing my mind and body (by snoozing for hours) for the duty ahead. monday came and i woke around ten, uptight and tense. i took a bath at around twelve, tried to eat lunch at 1, tried to relax by two and left at 2:30 for the hospital. i passed by my cousins' compound since i had to drop of something, meaning i had to pass the local 'tambays' which consisted of the pre-req adults without jobs, kids without respect and people acting like they have a life but who actually don't. my type A (all white) uniform so mystified these people the snotty kids had the nerve to ask me to 'check' them small jewels of theirs. i'd gladly check them out with my scissors but i was running behind schedule. tough luck.
aside from being the most dragging shift there is, i was assigned in the most boring ward, for the risk of being repetitive, eva. ortho ward/neuro. this is a chronic ward where patients stay for almost 3-5 months on their backside, with skitty and clumsy wire stuffs and metals sticking out of their bodies at different (often unbelievable angles). the neuro ward is really messy. this is where accident-ed people end up so expect lots of blood, gore, sweat, slime and exudates to come accross your way. ortho is better than neuro, considering that all the guys there are just waiting to bust their asses out to freedom; neuro is tedious. like, vital signs every hour, neuro-vital signs every 2, medicines, positioning, feeding...well you get the point. there was one guy who came in, and lawd he was a mess. his case required a lot of attention and monitoring and all the while he was delirious, moaning and thrashing about until he had to be restrained. those are the cases where you wish that you had a higher power to heal, to authorize medicines and operations. but you don't. it's a bummer but basically that's that.
our ci, sir joel was cool. i actually enjoyed the duty with him. plus my group was totally rad. we had fun doing things together, creating names for our patients (lapu-lapu...ahehe), helping each other out. by the second day, we had a new staff nurse on duty for the 3-11 shift and he was a great guy. he allowed us to stay in the nurses' area, bantering with the group, throwing questions at us and demonstrating the way to operate some nifty stuff in the ward. now that's a staff nurse...and a ci..and an rle group..ahehe
we ended our stint in ward 2 with a party for ourselves. ice cream, chicken, veggies and munchkins made our day (eherm night) and we became a boisterous crowd when we began taking pics (yeah, for the luv of God). hehe the nurses and the patients didn't mind. nuh-uh. not one itty-bitty bit.
glad that's over. now i can snooze once more till twelve without worrying about varicose veins. that is until next week.
the afternoon shift covers the 3pm-11pm hours and, typically, it drags. last april 3-5, i had a taste of it for the first time evah for my summer duty. here's how it went.
i was in nervous distress for the last week, preparing my mind and body (by snoozing for hours) for the duty ahead. monday came and i woke around ten, uptight and tense. i took a bath at around twelve, tried to eat lunch at 1, tried to relax by two and left at 2:30 for the hospital. i passed by my cousins' compound since i had to drop of something, meaning i had to pass the local 'tambays' which consisted of the pre-req adults without jobs, kids without respect and people acting like they have a life but who actually don't. my type A (all white) uniform so mystified these people the snotty kids had the nerve to ask me to 'check' them small jewels of theirs. i'd gladly check them out with my scissors but i was running behind schedule. tough luck.
aside from being the most dragging shift there is, i was assigned in the most boring ward, for the risk of being repetitive, eva. ortho ward/neuro. this is a chronic ward where patients stay for almost 3-5 months on their backside, with skitty and clumsy wire stuffs and metals sticking out of their bodies at different (often unbelievable angles). the neuro ward is really messy. this is where accident-ed people end up so expect lots of blood, gore, sweat, slime and exudates to come accross your way. ortho is better than neuro, considering that all the guys there are just waiting to bust their asses out to freedom; neuro is tedious. like, vital signs every hour, neuro-vital signs every 2, medicines, positioning, feeding...well you get the point. there was one guy who came in, and lawd he was a mess. his case required a lot of attention and monitoring and all the while he was delirious, moaning and thrashing about until he had to be restrained. those are the cases where you wish that you had a higher power to heal, to authorize medicines and operations. but you don't. it's a bummer but basically that's that.
our ci, sir joel was cool. i actually enjoyed the duty with him. plus my group was totally rad. we had fun doing things together, creating names for our patients (lapu-lapu...ahehe), helping each other out. by the second day, we had a new staff nurse on duty for the 3-11 shift and he was a great guy. he allowed us to stay in the nurses' area, bantering with the group, throwing questions at us and demonstrating the way to operate some nifty stuff in the ward. now that's a staff nurse...and a ci..and an rle group..ahehe
we ended our stint in ward 2 with a party for ourselves. ice cream, chicken, veggies and munchkins made our day (eherm night) and we became a boisterous crowd when we began taking pics (yeah, for the luv of God). hehe the nurses and the patients didn't mind. nuh-uh. not one itty-bitty bit.
glad that's over. now i can snooze once more till twelve without worrying about varicose veins. that is until next week.
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