reunions

i used to love reunions. give me the time and place and i'll be the first to arrive and the last to leave. now, however, i don't even know if giving an appearance is worth it.

i mean, if i'm going to appear in a reunion, i must have something to brag about. sad thing, i am absolutely the same, ever since i was in high school. same stoop, same sense of humor, same inferiority complex...all you have to do is to look at my old picture. i have yet to change my physical appearance with plastic surgery.

besides, i don't think people are actually glad to see me. personally, i am so dang happy to see them, i do cartwheels in my head. after a few experiences with reunions and gatherings, i realized, they had all moved on with their lives, while i struggled to remain the same. talk about betrayal or am i just exaggerating?

the thing is, i feel bad being left behind. i'm stuck in limbo, where i find that my sole purpose in life is to think what am i going to do the next day. and reunions, bringing with them their own hordes of success stories, is not the place where i'd choose to show my failures as a human being. i mean, i'd kill myself if i did that.

but the romantic in me is still very much alive. even though i feel as if i've been dropped and dissed by everyone, i still want to chat and talk, spend time with them and catch up with old times. the season does that to you. so, here i go. guiwan, here i come..